


Pride and Prejudice and Shinobi

by yunyu



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Crack, F/M, Humor, Icha Icha Scandalously Visible Ankles, Melodrama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 12:19:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8401423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunyu/pseuds/yunyu
Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single shinobi of a thousand jutsu must be in want of a kunoichi.(That's basically... the best line in the fic, so you're not missing much if you just read that and then go about your day.)Written for KakaSaku Week 2016, Movies AU prompt.To be continued, probably.





	

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single shinobi of a thousand jutsu must be in want of a kunoichi.

However little known the feelings or views of such a shinobi may be on his first entering a Hidden Village, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding clans, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

“My dear Bennet-san!” said his wife, “Netherfield Dojo is let at last, to a young ninja with a lot of chakra from the Land of Whirlpools. A _single_ ninja with a lot of chakra. What a thing for our girls!”

“How so? How can it affect them?”

“You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them!”

“Is that the mission that brings him to Konoha?”

“Mission! nonsense, how can you talk so? But you know he may very likely fall in love with one of them. So you must go and see Naruto Bingley-san as soon as he arrives in Konoha.”

“I shall write him a letter giving my hearty consent to him marrying whichever of my girls that he chooses, though I must throw in a good word for my little Sakura.”

“You will do no such thing! Sakura is not a bit better than any of the others; I am sure she is not half so handsome as Hinata, nor half so good-humoured as Ino.”

Sakura and Ino exchanged glances and rolled their eyes, while Hinata fidgeted with her index fingers. They all knew that their father ranked them Sakura, Hinata, Ino in order of preference, while their mother reversed it; and as for Sakura and Ino, they both agreed that Hinata was the best of them, to a nearly saintlike level of goodness, but both also felt that such a level of goodness had to be a real buzzkill.

Soon the Bennet clan compound was filled with exultation by the news that Bingley-san and his party would be attending the next assembly, where the finest young shinobi and kunoichi would romantically throw down in no holds barred first blood matches. The Bennet sisters went to the village to procure new bonnets and kunai for this event.

At the assembly, Naruto arrived with only two others, whom he introduced as his cousin, Karin Bingley, and his teacher, Kakashi Darcy-sensei.

Naruto was good-looking and… energetic. His cousin was a fine woman, who stared at everyone all night through a brown set of quizzing glasses. As for the last man, he immediately drew attention for his tall, fit figure, mysterious mask, noble mien, and the report, which was in general circulation about five minutes after his entrance, of his having a thousand jutsu. The shinobi declared him a fine figure of a man, and the kunoichi all considered him much more handsome than Bingley-san, until his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity, for he was found to be a proud, aloof man, and also a complete pervert.

Naruto fought every young lady present at least once, was angry that the assembly closed so early, and talked of giving a tournament at Netherfield as soon as possible. In contrast, Kakashi-sensei fought only once, with his friend’s cousin, and declined to be introduced to any other lady; and he spent every moment, fighting or not, with his nose in an Unmentionable Periodical.

Sakura Bennet was obliged, by a scarcity of gentlemen, to sit out two fights, and during part of that time, she was seated close enough to Naruto (who was taking a water break from fighting with her sister Hinata) and Kakashi to overhear part of their conversation.

“Hey hey hey! Kakashi-sensei! I must have you fight dattebayo!”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest meaningless fighting, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your cousin is already engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to challenge.”

“I never met so many good-looking girls in my life, sensei! And some of them are _uncommonly_ pretty -ttebayo!”

“ _You_ are fighting with the only handsome girl in the room,” said Kakashi, momentarily pleasing Sakura on Hinata’s behalf, until he followed up this chaste compliment with the decidedly less-so “What a chest.”

“But look, there’s one of her sisters, sensei! She’s very pretty too. I daresay, very strong! Why don’t we have my partner introduce you?”

“Which do you mean?” Kakashi said, until, turning round, he caught Sakura’s eye, at which point  he withdrew his own and said coldly, “She is tolerable, I suppose, but not strong enough to tempt _me._ I am in no humour at present to give consequence to kunoichi who are slighted by other shinobi. Return to your partner and enjoy her dojutsu; you are wasting your time with me.”

They both went off, leaving Sakura outwardly silent, and inwardly shouting “SHANNARO! TOLERABLE? YOU’RE LUCKY YOU DIDN’T CHALLENGE ME! I COULD PUT YOUR DUMB MASKED FACE THROUGH THE WALL!” She told the story however with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in any thing ridiculous.

———

“Kakashi-sensei, I can’t understand why you go through life determined to be displeased with everything and everyone in it dattebayo!”

Kakashi showed no reaction, but merely turned another page in _Icha Icha Scandalously Visible Ankles._

Karin, sitting at the breakfast table eating kippers, whatever those are, pushed her glasses up by the frame because she’s not some Kabuto savage who puts dirty fingerprints on her lenses. “I sense the Bennet sisters are arriving.”

Sure enough, the ladies appeared at the window, popping it open from the outside and tumbling through.

“What quaint country manners! In the city, we generally use the door,” tittered Karin. “Oh my! Sakura-san, you’re filthy! Six inches deep in mud, I’m absolutely certain.”

“Rogue nin attack,” Sakura said curtly. “We had to take him out. I’m a close-range fighter, so I had to get a bit dirty.”

“We heard you might hold a tournament, Bingley-san,” said Ino excitedly, “and it would be a great shame to disappoint everyone by _not_ throwing one.”

“Oh yes! There’s nothing that I love better than a tournament! And you can name the day if you like!”

Ino squealed, Sakura pumped her fist, and Hinata smiled shyly.

As the kunoichi sailed out the window and darted across the pond, Kakashi reflected upon how Sakura’s fine eyes were brightened by the exercise, and the contrast to the blood and dirt.

———

On their way home, Hinata held up a hand to halt them in the tree tops. “Three men coming from the northwest, and fast.”

They took up battle formations, but the men did not attack when they appeared. The leader, a tall, dark, and handsome man, looked the ladies over and said, “Hn.”

Ino and Sakura both nearly fell out of the trees swooning, and Hinata almost attacked in their defence, thinking this must be some kind of horrible genjutsu.

“Hey,” said one of his companions, “I’m Suigetsu Denny, and this is Juugo Carter, and last but not least in his own mind, Sasuke Wickham.”

“Hn,” said Sasuke again.

The ladies introduced themselves, and Sakura said, “We were just coming from Netherfield Dojo, where Naruto Bingley-san, his cousin Karin Bingley-san and Kakashi Darcy-san are staying.”

“Hn,” scowled Sasuke.

“Do you know some ill of them?” cried Sakura.

Sasuke looked grimly into the middle distance. “Hn.”

“Is it Naruto? Karin. Kaka-“

“Hn.”

“Oh my! Did he do something horrible?”

Sasuke clenched his fist. Distantly, threatening country music could be heard. “Hn.”

———

“I never met a man with such charming, happy manners!” cried Sakura when she was safely ensconced in the room she shared with her sisters. Ino sighed in agreement.

Hinata looked at the two of them worriedly. “Ah… Sakura-nee-san… d-do you really think we should b-believe a total stranger just like that?”

Sakura wasn’t listening. “Well-spoken, clearly well-bred—”

“Get me some of that breeding!” chimed in Ino, and the girls giggled, then suddenly looked daggers at eahch other.

“That’s it! We’re rivals!”

“I won’t lose to you, Ino-pig!”

“U-um, does anyone want to hear how I f-feel about N-naruto Bingley-kun?”

The two girls interrupted their glaring to smile at their sister and give a thumbs up. “Go for it!” they said in unison, then resumed glaring.

Hinata sighed.


End file.
